What Do You Miss the Most?
by Scoligatr
Summary: Gohan reminisces about the time when everything used to be simple. Sitting on the rooftop one night, Goten comes to ask him innocent questions that any other child asks. And Gohan tells him. Tiny summarized flashbacks, a little fluff, and mainly angsty. Not Gohan x Goten. Leans towards Gohan and Piccolo friendship, although Piccolo doesn't make an appearance. Goten is slightly OOC.


It was a quiet, windless Friday night. A lone figure sat quietly on top of a dome house in the middle of East District. The stars were shining brightly as if they told a story, illuminating the lonely sky with tales of the past, present, and future. Letting out a content sigh, Gohan watched as a shooting star flew by. It was quite rare for days like these. Just sitting outside, with his mother and Goten inside sleeping – no one was here to disturb him. Ever since the defeat of Cell, the young teen had been busy following the demands from his mother to be normal. What was the definition of normal anyways? His mother once told him 'normal' was being himself, just not with all the flying and crazy super powers.

Gohan let out a suppressed chuckle. If only he could go back. Go back to the days where he didn't have so many responsibilities.  
/Where father would still be here/  
That vile thought crept back into his mind once more. Gohan flinched; a frown took over his features. "It wasn't his fault". That's what everyone said. For one thing, the teen knew the thought would always linger, it would never go away. But for the time being, he could just push it aside. More time for reminiscing. Maybe future Trunks would come back and visit, and then maybe the demi Saiyan could borrow the time machine and go back. Either way he wouldn't be a child anymore. He'd have to return to the future anyways. Running his hand through his wild hair, he stretched and lay back, listening to the rustling of the leaves and the cricket's melodies. Why couldn't things like this night last? Everything was so new. He met new people, learned new things, and was finally introduced to the world to blend into the mundane lifestyle as everyone else. What happened to the old days when there was just a bit of studying without the grades, and the afternoons spent training, flying, or fishing. Those were definitely the days. Sometimes, new things just weren't that great.

The young teen tilted his head in the direction of the Lookout, wondering what Dende or Piccolo could be doing right now. He smiled. Knowing Piccolo, the Namekian would just be meditating and Dende, the new Kami, would be watching over Earth. Oh, how he missed them both. When school started, Chichi let down some pretty strong ground rules. One was like a stab to Gohan's chest: "No more visiting Piccolo. You're a student not a fighter." Yeah, of course he wasn't a fighter, he was a pacifist. But, what was the harm in just training a few? He didn't want to turn all wrinkly and gross when he got older.

"Hey! Gohan! Whatcha doing up here?!"

Startled, Gohan's eyes darted to the location of the noise. Within a beat, the small thump of feet and a gush of wind made the demi Saiyan twist his head back to look at the intruder. Standing right above him and looking down quizzically at the teen, Gohan smiled the famous smile as he met face to face with the little noisemaker.

"Hey little buddy." He said in a hushed voice. "You should be asleep. The real question is, what are _you_ doing up here?"

Goten beamed back. "Sorry." He too started to whisper. "But, I saw you go up on the roof. I thought you left something up there but you didn't return for a long time." The child looked up at his brother. "Is something the matter? Don't worry, mommy's asleep."

"Haha no. Nothing's the matter. Just thinking, you know?"

Unsatisfied with such a vague answer, Goten crinkled up his nose and scooted closer to his older sibling. "Thinking about what?"

For a couple moments, Gohan didn't answer. Rather, his eyes stayed still, staring at the night sky. Following suit, Goten laid back and tried to copy his brother in whatever he was doing.  
"Big brother, I want to think too! If you don't tell me what you're thinking, I can't do the same as you." Goten crossed his arms and pouted. Lately, his older brother had been somewhat distant. Normally Gohan would share a laugh or two or they would start fooling around, but things didn't happen. Not that Goten would complain, there was Trunks, his best friend, but his best friend wasn't the same as his brother. Shifting closer to the larger body, the youth discretely took a look at his brother's face. Perhaps his older brother was thinking about girls. Ew. At least that's something Goten wouldn't want to be interested in. Girls were gross, they had cooties and stuff.

"I'm just thinking about the time when I was your age." He slowly inhaled and exhaled while keeping his concentration on the stars. Facing his brother, to know his presence wasn't unwanted, Gohan stretched out an arm and ruffled his little brother's hair, electing a soft squeal from the child.

Both Saiyans laid there unmoving and unspoken looking at the dark blue canvas above them. It didn't take a genius or an adult to understand just how wonderful the present was if one would just take their time to take it all in.

"Gohan?"  
"Hm?"  
Silence. Gohan waited for a question from Goten but when minutes past, and the boy didn't speak up, the teen got curious.

"What is it little man?" He asked, turning to look at the other.

"Um. I was wondering, when you were my age…Was it as fun as mine? Did you have a best friend like I have Trunks? What do you miss the most?"

/Well, that was definitely unexpected./  
Quirking an eyebrow, Gohan began to choose his words wisely. Just because Goten was seven years old, didn't mean the boy was stupid. Perhaps now, Gohan would tell him what happened when he was a child.  
"If I answer you, will you promise to go to bed?" He asked, amusement laced in his words.  
Nodding vigorously, Goten replied, "Yup! Yay! Bedtime story!"

The demi Saiyan let out a suppressed laugh while motioning one finger to his lips to quiet down the younger Saiyan.

"Alright." Gohan cleared his throat. "When I was four and Dad went away for a little while, Piccolo took me to train in the desert for a year. So I guess, yeah it was more or less just as fun as you have now. Just a bit more of hell if you had to give it a word." Gohan laughed. Remembering the days he spent as a sniffling brat and just how much he had grown in a year under Piccolo's "care" renewed his energy. "For the last half year I spent day and night training with Piccolo. It was great. Although he beat me to a bloody pulp most of the time, I learned a lot from him. We had pretty good conversations too if you consider grunts and blunt words as one. I didn't mind though. The stars were just as good as they were then as they are now, but I had a nice fire going on to help with the atmosphere. But then after…" The words trailed off. A pang of sadness stuck Gohan's core. Piccolo's death that day was something that would stay with him forever. The helplessness he felt, the weakness that radiated off his body at that time as Piccolo was dying; the _blinding anger_ that arose the split second Piccolo had closed his eyes and _cried_ would be one thing he would regret for his entire life. Even though the once demon king was alive and well now, it didn't erase the fact that he died once.

When Gohan didn't continue but rather stare lifelessly at nothing in front of him, Goten rapidly waved his hand at his face in an attempt to catch his brother's attention.

"Hello? Earth to big brother. Continue!"

Quickly snapping out of his depressing memory, the teen laughed away his worries and apologized.  
"Sorry Goten. As I was saying, after a big battle, I went to Planet Namek so that we could get the Drag-"

"Planet Namek? You went to an entirely different planet?!" Interrupted the youth, eyes wide in awe.

"Yep. Yes, I did." He smiled. It was a beautiful planet, not that New Namek wasn't any better, but first impressions last a long time.  
"Anyways continuing. There I met great people, and we came back and had many more battles. To answer the best friend question, I did actually. And I think I still do. He's a great friend, my first friend and honestly my only friend that can be as amazing as he is. No one can replace him."

"Who?! Who? Ewww, is it Videl? Did you guys have mushy moments?!"

Blushing and turning red from embarrassment, Gohan quickly shot up and covered Goten's mouth shushing him and hopefully keeping his younger brother from saying any more embarrassing things.

In mock frustration, Gohan countered the barrage of questions through his teeth.  
"One, I said _he_ not she. Two, I didn't meet Videl when I was seven. I met her last year! And three, what? Were you watching? Why were you even there?!"

/And I said I 'think' I still do…/

"Awite den hu? Hu?!" Goten's muffled voice was still loud but was effectively quieter due to the large hand over his mouth. After Gohan released his grip from the wild creature, Goten tried again in a quieter tone. "Who?"

In a hushed voice, Gohan gave his younger brother a lopsided smile.  
"Piccolo."

Goten cocked his head to the side in confusion.  
"Piccolo?"

"Yep."  
"Why? I never see you visit him. How can he still be your best friend?"

Ouch. That hurt. Even as innocent of a question as it was, Gohan couldn't help but stand up with his eyes downcast. Goten mimicked his brother's movement.

The older teen gave out an exaggerated sigh. Then I guess, this would answer your last question.  
"What do I miss most?" If he was choosing his words carefully now, Gohan casted all caution into the wind. His father did tell him to be the man of the house, to take care of his mother and now brother, but it was times like these where he thought maybe it was okay to show a shred of weakness to his younger sibling. Gohan sat down and began to open his mouth, but was quickly interrupted.

Somehow sensing his brother's distress, Goten didn't want him to answer the question if he didn't want to. Sure he was a curious kid, but he wasn't a heartless one. Poking his fingers together, the child fidgeted without looking at the other. "If you don't want to, you don't have to tell me…"

Gohan gave a sad smile to the doubting youth.  
"What I miss the most were the times where I didn't have school. Where those large battles weren't taking place… Where I was with Piccolo again at the waterfall and the desert." The last sentence was almost a quiet whisper, but Goten heard it anyways. Gohan looked away, unshed tears reflecting off his eyes.

"With Piccolo at the waterfall and desert? What's so fun about that? I thought all you did was train at the desert."

Memories began to reel trough the demi Saiyan's head like a bittersweet movie that once was, but was not going to repeat itself again. Times like those were long gone, no matter how much you wish they came back, they weren't going to.

"Oh, it was really fun. When mom wasn't looking, I would fly as fast as I could just so I can go and try to scare Piccolo, but I never won that game." Gohan chuckled, this time happily. Whatever sadness he felt earlier was slowly fading away as he told his most cherished times with his younger brother. "He'd just be meditating there. He'd acknowledge my presence, and I would go swimming, sometimes fishing at the stream right next to the waterfall. The smell and the sound, was the most relaxing feeling. Even though it looked like he didn't care, he always did. I even tested it out. Ha!" By now, the teenager was smiling broadly. "I would shout Piccolo's name and then I'd submerge myself underwater and hold my breath. And when I didn't come up again, Piccolo thought I couldn't see him, but I saw him rush down to get me. He easily panicked!" Laughing, Gohan, out of habit, tilted his head towards the Lookout once again. "When he realized it was a prank, boy did I get it. He'd train me without mercy. And the desert, yeah it wasn't a vacation, but the times spent with Piccolo are things I would never forget. I had interesting conversations with him and he did a lot of things out of his supposed "comfort zone". You should've seen his facial expressions."

Goten joyfully laughed as he watched his brother mimic – pretty well – Piccolo's famous grunts, scowls, and stances. The younger demi Saiyan didn't know the "big green uncle" as much since mom would never allow him near him, but from what Gohan was telling him, Piccolo was not such a bad person. Besides, his big brother was always right.

"So yeah. I miss those days the most. I wish I could go back. I'd give anything to go back…But it won't happen." Just as quickly as it appeared, Gohan's eyes returned to their normal emotionless mask. The same mask he wore ever since Goten knew his brother.

Silence once again came in between the two brothers. No one spoke. However, silence was broken but this time by Gohan.

"Now to keep your promise, time for bed little man." Giving his younger sibling a lopsided smile, Gohan gave a small push indicating for the smaller boy to go back down to the house.

In nothing more than mumble, Goten looked up at his brother with sad eyes.  
"I know you haven't seen Piccolo in a long time, but it wouldn't hurt to go visit him. Just because you're not like me anymore, doesn't mean you can't have the same fun again…I think."

Chuckling, Gohan shook his head as he watched the younger child jump down. Deep down, Goten was right. Just because he was an old teenager now, that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy the simplest things such as going to the waterfall and the desert.  
/Piccolo isn't there anymore./ There it was again. _Those_ thoughts.  
/Father isn't waiting for you anymore./ Another.  
/Everyone's changed./ Another.  
/You've changed./_ Another._  
/You don't deserve it./ Silence.

However, there's one reality that separates the right from now.

It just wouldn't be the same.

* * *

**A/N: Ahh sorry! This is my FIRST time EVER writing a story. I always feel I use repetitive words such as the character's names or words to replace them like "child" or "teen" and what not. I don't mind harsh reviews at all so please give it your best shot! I would LOVE to improve! Anyways...**

**I always had this in mind that although Gohan in DBZ was depicted as this happy go lucky guy as expected as the son of Goku, he's never really been able to show off his emotions other than anger. But I mean everyone wants him to get angry...no one's ever seen him sad and actually have him in a sad and meaningful scene. I don't think I did a good job, but I did however wanted someone to ask him what Gohan missed the most. The stuff he does now, I honestly don't think he's as happy as he was shown to be during his time with Piccolo. Akira always seemed to have him super happy with Piccolo.**

**Long story short, this connects to real life because as a child we do things we miss, no matter how small it was. There's always one person in our lives that we enjoyed, even if it was a split second. But the sad thing is that everyone changes. People move, shops get destroyed, life goes on. I sometimes find myself talking about the things I used to love doing with my friends. One friend told me that it doesn't matter how old I was, I could still do the things I love now. I know that friend is right, but even if we go back and do it, it's never going to be the same ever again. The same feelings and how we saw it from our perspective have been changed throughout time dramatically and we're never going to feel how we initially did ever again.**

**Anways, please R&R! *7*  
**


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